


This is Our Little Secret

by bringmesomepie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Anal Sex, Bottom Dean, Bully Castiel, Bullying, Closeted Character, Closeted Dean, Coming Out, Douchebag Castiel, F/F, F/M, Football Player Castiel, Gen, Heterosexual Sex, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Homosexual Sex, Homosexuality, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Nerd Dean, Suicidal Dean, Suicide Attempt, Top Castiel, Violence, keeping secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-24 07:24:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1596476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bringmesomepie/pseuds/bringmesomepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Little fella, in the eye of the public, I’m the quarterback of the football team and you’re a nobody . We can’t be together."</p><p>“We graduate in 2 months…”</p><p>“Then we go to college. We will still have our little secret.”</p><p>“But—“</p><p>“No buts, It’s just how it is, little fella.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the no updates. I have been either having writers block or in a lot of pain lately. I have not abandoned any story. I am slowly troop through. Here's a little story for you. It's not going to be long but it is going to be a few chapters and WARNING: DOUCHEBAG CASTIEL

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” He panted. “Right there, f-fuck.”

“You like that little fella?”

“Yes, fuck, yes.” He moaned. “I’m gonna…”

“Do it, come for me, sweet cheeks.” He said as he came inside the other. “Come for me just like I did in you.”

He did. “Oh God, that was amazing.” He panted.

“You’re right about that.” He smiled. “Same time next Friday?”

“Yeah, sure?” He seemed hesitant.

“What?” He said putting on his clothes again.

The other man pulled on his clothes as well. “It’ just how much longer are we going to hide this? How much longer are we going to keep this a secret?”

“Little fella, in the eye of the public, I’m the quarterback of the football team and you’re a nobody . We can’t be together. I have Meg; and you have Charlie.”

“We graduate in 2 months…”

“Then we go to college. We will still have our little secret.”

“But—“

“No buts, It’s just how it is, little fella.”

“What happens after college? You marry some chick and I’m still with Charlie?”

“I’m glad you understand.”

“Castiel…”

“I have to go. We are still up to next Friday, right Dean?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Castiel cupped Dean’s jaw. “This was amazing. Please stay for the game.”

“I-I can’t. I promised Charlie we’d hang out.”

“Ok, next Friday, remember that.” Castiel ruffled Dean’s hair. “See you later, little fella.”

Dean watched Castiel walk away. He fixed his glasses on his nose. “See you later, Cas.” He whispered to himself. He walked out of the broom closet and walked to his car, where Charlie was waiting.

“Where were you Winchester?” She smiled.

“I was…I had…I got distracted.” Dean tripped over his words.

“Finishing tonights homework?” She smirked pulling him closer to her.

Dean pecked her on the lips. “You caught me.”

“Dean Winchester; smarty goody two shoes.”

“I am not…”

“Really? You are so vanilla, you make vanilla seem spicy. I mean you’re still a virgin.”

“No, I’m not a virgin.”

Charlie scoffed. “A week ago you didn’t want to have sex because you wanted to wait.”

“Well, I don’t want to wait anymore.” Dean walked over to the driver’s side.

“What are you trying to say?” Charlie smiled.

Dean turned on the car. “Sammy is at soccer practice until 7. My Dad shouldn’t be back until tomorrow or the next day.”

“Are you saying what I think you are?” Charlie smiled. Dean nodded. “What changed your mind?”

“I just love you and I think we are ready.” Dean lied.

&^%$#@!@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^&

They rushed up the stairs and into Dean’s room. Their kissed were frantic, sloppy and desperate. Dean kicked Charlie onto his bed as he began to pulled off his clothes and Charlie did the same. Once they were nice and naked Dean crawled onto his bed hungrily. He was happy; not only did he get fucked by his man crush, but get to fuck his girlfriend within hours of each other.

“Oh babe, I’ve been waiting for 3 years for this.” Charlie moaned.

“You are beautiful.” Dean said as he gently caressed her breasts.

“Are we going to foreplay or get straight down to business, because I’m more than ready.”

Me too.” Dean spread Charlie’s legs. Dean teased her clit with the tip of his hard length.

“Come on, Dean, get inside me.” Charlie gripped Dean’s hips. Dean eased inside Charlie and she let out a beautiful gasp.

She was warm and Dean grew harder seeing Charlie fall apart. “Baby, you feel so good. You’re so sexy right now.”

Dean thrusted with a grunt. He kissed her neck and she ran her fingers through his hair as they both came.

They were distracted by each other and didn’t realize the time or who came home. “Dean, I came home a little ear—that’s my boy.”

Dean whipped around to see his Dad standing in the doorway. Charlie screamed and dove under the covers. “D-Dad…get out.”

“I’ll be downstairs, but your brother should be home soon.”

John walked away and Charlie pulled on her underwear and pants along with Dean’s shirt, braless. Dean slipped into some sweatpants and laid down beside Charlie. “So…what did you think?”

“I was great.” Charlie smiled laying her head on Dean chest.

“Yeah, it was great.” Dean spaced out thinking about Castiel bending him over in the broom closet just an hour ago.

&^%$#@!@#$%^&^%$#@#$%^&

Dean walked into the school that Monday morning with the hope it was going to be a good day. He made it all the way to his locker without any problems.

He grabbed his books and turned around and there they were standing behind him; Alastair, Crowley, Azazeal, and Castiel.”

“Hello, Dean.” Crowley said.

Dean ducked down his head and started walking away. He was suddenly grabbed and slammed into the locker by no one other than Alastair. “You got a lot to learn, boy. How long you wanna bet it would take to get him to yell uncle?”

“Guys, let me go.” Dean struggled.

“Alright, Winchester, after school, football field. If you don’t show we will find you.” Azazeal said.

“We’ll smack you stupid.” Crowley added.

“Seriously, guys. I haven’t done anything to you.” Dean tried to not look them in the eyes.

Aww, the little fella can’t look at us in the eyes.” Castiel remarked.

“Guys, seriously, let me go.” Dean squirmed. A fist connected to Dean’s cheek. It was from Alastair.

“After school, football field.” Castiel replied and Alastair let Dean go.

He fell to the ground and watched them walk off. Great start to the day.

He walked to the closet bathroom and looked into the mirror. His cheek was already bruising. He was terrified of what was going to happen after school. It made him literally sick to his stomach.

He could feel the bile creep up his throat. He dashed to the stall and emptied all of his breakfast that morning.

He sat back panting. He closed his eyes. He heard someone entered the bathroom. He turned his head and realized the stall was wide open and Castiel stood staring at him.

“Hey, little fella.”

Dean groaned as Castiel grew closer. “I’m sorry, I said those things. I didn’t mean them.” Dean looked away from him. Castiel pulled Dean to his feet. “I saw you run in here. I had to see if you were ok.”

“You don’t care about me. I’m just your lucky Friday fuck.” Dean said louder than he should cause Castiel covered Dean’s mouth.

“Shhh…”

That’s when the bathroom door opened revealing Charlie. “Dean?”

“Charlie…you’re not supposed to be in here…” Dean panicked.

“What are you talking about a lucky Friday fuck?”

“It’s nothing. Go to class, Charlie.”

“Are you cheating on me with a guy? Are you gay?”

Castiel and Dean both stuttered no’s and shook their heads.

“I can’t believe you, Dean Winchester.” She stormed out.

“Great.” Dean sighed. Castiel stared at Dean.

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

“Just leave me alone.” Dean rushed out of the bathroom. “Charlie, wait!”

She turned around fast. “No, Dean, how could you not tell me you were _gay_?”

Dean cringed and looked around at the many stares…especially Alastair and Crowley.

They started laughing. Dean quickly made his way out of the school. Alastair and Crowley followed. “Where do you think you are going, pansy?”

“Just leave me alone.” He walked faster.

Alastair gripped Dean’s arm. “Who’s your gay butt buddy, fag?”

“Nobody.” Dean said knowing not to throw Cas under the bus.

“It know it is someone.” Crowley dragged Dean out of the school into the parking lot.

Dean went home early that day, well, he didn’t go home. The ER was close enough.

&^%$#@!@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^&

Two broken ribs, a concussion, a broken collar bone, and a slipped disk. Dean was a mess. He was put into a drug induced coma so he wouldn’t injure himself anymore for three days.

After that Charlie and Dean made up but couldn’t be together.

John and Sammy were there when he woke up. “Hey Dean-o. You’re awake.”

“Dad?”

“Yeah, bud. It’s me. Sammy is getting some food from the cafeteria.”

“Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital. You got pretty badly beat.”

“I’m sorry…” Dean mumbled.

“Why are you sorry?” It was those assclown football players.” John spoke up.

“’T’s my fault.” Dean felt fresh tears forming.

“How was it your fault?”

“Charlie probably hates me…she probably never wants to speak to me again.” The tears ran down his face.

“Why would she hate you, son? What happened?”

Dean shook his head. “Nothing.”

“Dean, if there is a reason you were beat 7 ways to Sunday I need to know.”

Sammy walked into the room. “Dean? You’re awake.”

“Yeah, kinda.” Dean wiped the tears from his face.

“I’m glad you’re ok, Dean. Charlie found you; Jo and Ash dragged you to their car and Charlie notified Dad. That was three days ago.”

“I’m sorry.” Dean rasped.

Sam nodded understanding what Dean meant. “Charlie told me everything. She’s not mad.”

“Why?”

“How about you talk to her?” Sam looked form Dean to John. “Come on, Dad.”

John got up as Charlie entered the room.

                                                                                ***


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel rushed out of the bathroom and heard Alastair and Crowley laughing. He watched as they dragged Dean to the parking lot.

He watched Alastair punch as Crowley kicked. He saw when Dean passed out bloody. They just kept hitting. “Guys!” He ran over.

“Castiel? Where have you been?” Crowley smiled as he kicked Dean’s side.

“Was on my way to my locker when I heard everything. So, he’s a rainbow?”

“Yeah, he would say who his butt buddy is though.” Alastair replied.

“We need to get out of here. Before we get caught.” Cas said looking around. “Drag him into the grass so he don’t get run over. We don’t need a murder on our hands.”

They nodded and threw him on the grass hard enough to make Cas cringe. They walked inside. He stood there as student watching left. Once the late bell rang and everyone was gone Cas walked over to Dean’s unconscious body. He flipped him over onto his back. “I’m sorry, little fella. This is all my fault. I don’t deserve you to keep _our_ little secret. I’m sorry. I’m going to get you help.”

Cas ran inside. He knew Charlie Bradberry. He saw Dean and Charlie hang around his first period, which just so happened to be beside his first period. It was how Dean and Cas met in the first place. He walked into the class and all eyes were on him.

“Mr. Novak? What can I owe the pleasure?” Mr. Adler asked.

“Can I talk with Charlie Bradberry for a moment? It’s kinda important.”

Mr. Adler nodded. Charlie stood and glared at Cas. She walked out of the classroom with Cas. “What?”

“Dean’s hurt bad. I can’t—“

“You can’t help him because your douchebag friends would find out about your little secret.”

“Please, Charlie, please—“ Castiel begged.

“I don’t believe you.” She glared.

“Charlie, please don’t tell anyone about me and Dean’s thing. I beg of you.”

“Where is he?” She asked.

“Charlie—“

“I’m not going to tell, now where is Dean?”

“Follow me.” Cas nodded.

“No, tell me where he is. I’ll get help and you go to class.”

“Charlie…I…”

“Go to class, Castiel. You can say you’re sorry all you want. Dean is hurt now because of you. So I’m sorry won’t fix this.” She said walking towards the door.

“I’m falling for him.” Castiel blurted out. “Charlie, I’m falling…in love with…I have fallen in love with Dean.”

“You what?”

“I’m in love with Dean.” Castiel blushed.

“And you let him get hurt?”

“I didn’t hurt him—“

“Yeah, but you didn’t do a damn thing to stop it. Just go to class, Castiel.” Charlie walked away. “Now, where is he?”

“Head to the parking lot…he’s on the grass. He’s hard to miss. He’s unconscious. Is there anyone I can run and get to help?”

“Ash and Jo Havelle in woodshop.”

“You mean Ash; the guy with the mullet and listens to mullet rock? Jo Harvelle; the freak with the knife collection?”

“Those are my and Dean’s friends.”

Castiel walked. He came back 10 minutes later with Ash and Jo. “Charlie?”

Jo ran over to Charlie, who was holding Dean’s head in her lap. “Alastair and Crowley beat him until he was past unconscious.”

“Jo and I will go take Dean to the ER and you can get Mr. Winchester.”

&^%$#@!@#$%^&^%$#@!@#$%^&

“Mr. Winchester! Mr. Winchester! Mr. Winchester!” Charlie ran to the front and started banging on the door. “Mr. Winchester! Mr. Winchester!”

John flung the door open. “Charlie? What are you doing here? You should be in school.”

“Mr. Winchester…Dean’s hurt bad.”

“What happened?”

“Two football players beat him to hell. Jo and Ash are taking him to the hospital.”

“You stay here for when Sammy get back from school and soccer practice.”

“I wanna see Dean.” Charlie remarked.

“No, Charlie, please.” John walked to his car.

*&^%$#@#$%^&^%$#@#$%^&*&^%

“So how are you feeling?” Charlie asked.

“I’m not running an marathons anytime soon.” Dean rasped softly.

“You scared the shit out of all of us.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“Mad at you for what? You coming out of the closet and you making me your beard. No I’m not mad.”

“Yes, Charlie, I’m sorry. You saw the how bad things got when Cas and his friends found out.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Troop through it. We graduate in 2 months. I can handle it.”

Charlie shook her head. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

“I have been tortured by Alastair and Crowley since 5th grade; I can’t handle them for 2 more months.” She scoffed. “I got to go, Dean. Call me when you get out of here.”

She just walked out, leaving Dean alone.

It was 20 minutes before John and Sam came back. “Hey kiddo. I talked with your doctor. He says he wants to keep you over night and give you a once over in the morning and you should be able to leave and go to school on Monday.”

“I’m guessing it’s after school hours since Sam is here.”

“Yeah, it’s around 6.” Sam said.

“How about you guys go home and rest and shower?”

“We’re fine, Dean.” John replied.

“I want to be alone. Go home and shave and shower. I can smell both of you…you need it.”

“We’ll be back in an hour or 2.” Dean nodded and they walked out. He closed his eyes. He didn’t know how long he was lost in thought but he heard a voice from the doorway.

“Hey, little fella.”

Dean slowly opened his eyes. He was amazed and what he saw. It was Castiel. He wore tight black skinny jeans, combat boots, and a bright pink shirt with the sleeves cut off. He hair was gel-ed into a fohawk. He wore a couple of bracelets on each wrist and cross around his neck.

“Too much?”

“Too much for what?”

“To fit your standard…I mean I don’t want this to be our little secret anymore.”

                                                                                ***


	3. Chapter 3

“What’s with the get up?” Dean mumbled.

Cas walked over to the hospital bed with his arms spread out. “This is Castiel Novak after school, not playing football, on the weekends; just with my personal gay flare.”

Dean smirked. “I think you’re just overcompensating.”

“I thought so too, but I needed you to see.”

“Alastair and Crowley wouldn’t beat you harder than they did me if they found out.” Dean rasped. “You’d probably get kicked off the football team.”

“Yeah, well, we got 2 more games and I’m the only quarterback they got that can get us to win.” Dean stayed quiet. He played with the blanket. “Dean, I’m sorry. I should have stopped Alastair and Crowley from beating you. I can never say sorry enough.”

“No, I understand. Your rep is important. Beating up some homo nerd is normal, it’s something you have to do being a football player.” Dean looked away from Cas.

“No, It’s not like that, Dean. I’m just scared…I’m scared people will think of me different.”

Dean smirked. “They will.”

“I know.” Cas whispered.

“Cas they will think differently of you. Your _friends_ are homophobic assholes and aren’t you true friends. You lost all of those years ago. They will all think of you differently because you have whaled on all of us for years.”

Cas’s face turned red. “I know.”

“You can either hide with your head in the sand or actually live.”

“You were using Charlie as your beard.”

“I love Charlie. She just found out what _we_ were doing.” Dean said flipping his index finger back and forth between them.

Castiel sat on the hospital bed right beside Dean. “I don’t want this to be a secret anymore, but I don’t want to be hated the rest of my high school life.” Cas cupped Dean’s jaw. “I want you, Dean.”

“Well, we can’t be together if you can’t deal with the hate that will come our way. I mean you _watched_ Alastair and Crowley beat me until I was out cold. If you truly wanted someone, you wouldn’t have done something.” Dean said dryly. He was shaking.

“Dean…”

“No.” Dean interrupted as he voice cracked. “My Dad and brother should be here soon. I don’t want you here when they come back.”

“Dean…I—“

“Leave me alone, Castiel.” Dean growled with shakiness in his voice. Cas blinked and walked backwards.

“See you Monday, Dean.” He left and 10 minutes later Dad and Sam arrived.

Dean was still shaking. “What’s wrong, kiddo?”

“Dad…I have something to tell you.” Dean mumbled.

&^%$#@!@#$%^&^%$#@#$%^&

Cas walked down the halls of the hospital. He openly proclaimed that he loved Dean and he rejected him. He walked to his car and was at his car door when he heard his name. “Castiel? Is that you?”

He turned around and there they were. Alastair, Crowley and Azazeal. “Hey, guys. What are you doing here?”

“Giving that pansy Winchester a visit. We had to see how bad of a number we gave him.” Alastair smiled.

“So was I.” Cas said leaning against his door.

“What’s with the get up? What are you a mullet rock listening faggot?” Azazeal questioned.

“I had to sell my “apology”, didn’t I?” He lied.

“Did it work?”

“I think so.” Cas nodded opening his car door. “See you guys around.”

He drove off until he found a good spot in a desert parking lot by Office Depot. He closed his eyes and pressed his head to the steering wheel. _‘Come on, Cas. You know they are just words. You shouldn’t care about what they are going to say. You can handle 2 months of torture. Hell, Dean has handled years of it. You can do it for 2 months.’_ He mumbled to himself.

That’s when Castiel decided.

*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*&^%$#@!@#$%^&

“What’s up, son?” John asked sitting down.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I-I am a disappointment to the Winchester name.”

“What are you talking about, Dean?” John asked with a serious face. He leaned in and propped on his knee. “What going on, Dean?”

“Dad, Charlie and I broke up.”

“That’s not a disappointment, son.”

“That’s not all of it.” Dean added starting to shake. He couldn’t feel the tears bubbling up.

“Dean, tell me what’s going up. I can see you are getting worked up over this and you need to calm down.” John placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“I cheated on Charlie…with—with a guy.” Dean said that turned into a choked sob.

John was silent. Sam wasn’t listening. He was too busy listening to his IPod and resting on the couch with his eyes closed.

“Dad…say something…anything.” Dean whimpered.

“What’s his name?”

“What?”

“What’s that boys name?” John repeated.

“Castiel Novak.”

“You mean quarterback of the football team, Castiel Novak?” John asked.

Yeah…”

“Like the two football player who beat the shit out of you?”

“Yeah…”

“Cas hasn’t come out yet, has he?” Dean shook her head.

“Not yet. He doesn’t want people to know.”

“Well, that’s how people are these days. Especially teenagers. They just want to fit in and be like everyone else.”

“Just 2 more months and all of this will be over and I can go to college.” Dean half smiled at his dad.

“Yeah, maybe everything will blow over before then.” John suggested.

“When have we ever been that lucky, Dad.” Dean sighed then closed his eyes; letting himself drift to sleep.

                                                                                ***


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys, it's been forever and a day since i posted. I know, i'm sorry. I have been busy with school and art and work. I also just drew a complete blank on what to do for this chapter until like yesterday. I know i have been working on a lot of other things for a little while, but i haven't abandoned this story. I might set it aside to let my ideas grow but i'm not done with this story, i know you like this new chapter :P

Monday came around and he was strong and healthy enough to go to school. He walked into the school and straight to his locker. He grabbed his book and headed to his first period. He spotted Alastair and Crowley walking towards him. He froze in place and watched them go closer.

“Good morning, princess.” Crowley smiled.

“Leave me alone.” Dean mumbled ducking his head down and began walking in the other direction only to run into Castiel.

“Well, hey there, little fella.”

“Let me go to class.” Dean shoved him out of the way. Cas didn’t touch him. He let him go. Dean heard the fuss.

“Castiel, what the fuck are you doing? You let him go!” Alastair yelled.

“Just let him go. He just got out of the hospital.” Cas replied.

“Don’t pity that fag.” Crowley spat out.

“I do not pity the guy, Crowley. Give the man a break.”

_*** &^%$#@!@#&*(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*** _

He made it through 1st and 2nd and was on his way to lunch when he was grabbed by the arm and pushed into the janitor closet. He was pressed up against the wall and a body was right behind him. “Hey little fella.”

“Castiel?

“Meet me at my house tonight. I’m sorry they harassed you this morning. I tried to get them towards the other side of school but they know when you get here and where your locker is.”

“Your family would find out…” Dean mumbled.

“My family already knows.” Cas whispered into Dean’s ear. He started walking towards the door.

“Wait, you can’t just walk outside. People already saw you pull me in here.”

“Alright what do you want me to do?” Dean signed and pointed to his cheekbone. “No, I’m not going to punch you.”

“You’ve never worried about it before.” Dean deadpanned.

“I’ve changed. I’m trying to be a better person, Dean.”

“Then punch me and get on with your life and leave me alone. I’m not the guy for you. Just do like you planned. Go to college and find a better guy.” Dean propped against the door waiting for the punch so he would fall outside in the hallway.

“I’m not going to punch you.” Cas backed away.

Dean nodded and pushed the door opened and fell backward holding his hand under his eye. “I understand, I’m sorry. I won’t bother you anymore.”

Dean scrambled to his feet and jogged away. Cas slowly walked out of the closet and everyone in the hallway were staring at him. Charlie was closest to the door. She glared at Castiel. She stormed away. Alastair and Crowley were smiling and walked up to Castiel. “What did you do, Castiel? I thought you said to cut him some slack.”

“I did cut him some slack.”

“What did you do?”

“I pulled him aside and told him I wanted…” Cas paused for a moment. “…I wanted him to do my homework tonight as punishment.”

“You’re acting very strange, Castiel. What’s going on?”

“Seriously? Why do I even talk with y’all. Y’all are all extremely stupid. Get out of my face.” Cas walked away. He jogged down the hallway and looked back and forth. That’s when he spotted him. He was walking out of the school. He followed him until Dean stopped at his car. “Dean…”

“Why are you following me? I’m not someone you want to be with. You’re the quarterback and I’m a nobody. We can’t be together.”

Cas walked over to Dean cupped his jaw and planted a kiss to Dean’s lips. “There’s something about you, Little Fella. I can’t get you outta my head. I want to change. I want you.”

Dean shook his head. “You let your friends kick my ass until I was past hurt. They put me in the hospital. You didn’t do a thing to stop them.”

“Dean, I…I don’t know how to tell you how—“

“What? How sorry you are?” Dean lashed out. “It’s too late for that.” He walked towards the driver’s side door.

“How much I have fallen.” Cas answered. Dean froze and turned around.

“Was that supposed to clear everything up?” Dean spat out.

“I have fallen…for you, Dean.” Cas whispered. “I have fallen in love with you.” Dean was silent. He shook his head and stared into Cas’s eyes. “Are you going to say something? I’m spilling my guts all over the floor. I’ve told you something that only my family knows.”

“I have been through more than you or anybody knows. The last thing I need is another trick to get my ass handed to me again. I don’t want to end up in the hospital again.” Dean step back. “I potentially lost my best friend because of you. Everything bad that has happened to me in the past two years is because of you. You found me sophomore year and I have been bending over for you for years just so I would stay on your good side and in a way I liked it. Just stay away from me.”

Dean stepped into his car and pulled away, leaving Cas in the dust. He stood there for a while before jogging into the school on a mission. It was still lunch so he still has time. He walked into the arts hallway and instantly he saw her. “Charlie…”

“Castiel?” She scolded.

“I know I’m probably the last person you want to see.” Cas dropped to the ground and sat in front of her. “Dean would consider you family right?”

“Yeah?” Charlie replied confused.

“What happened in Dean’s past?”

Charlie shook her head. “I can’t tell you that. That’s personal.”

“Please, Charlie. Dean is all I think about. I want to change my life around. I want Dean to know that. I want to know why he is the way he is.”

She huffed out a sigh. “His mother died when he was younger. A man with yellow eyes killed her in front of Dean and his little brother when Dean was 4. He is still plagued with nightmares of that night.”

”That was almost 15 years ago why is he still battling that.” Cas asked.

“What makes Dean as easy target for you and your asshole friends?” Charlie leaned forward.

“What are you talking about?” Cas squinted.

“He gives in easily. He lets you punch, kick, spit on him until your done and barely says a word. Have you ever noticed?”

Cas shook his head and looked at his hands. “Why does he do that?”

“Rumor has it that a few years ago, John Winchester, Dean’s Dad, would get plastered and beat the shit out of Dean, but only in places that wouldn’t be seen in the public eye.”

Cas looked up at Charlie. She was definitely holding back tears. “What stopped the rumor?”

“Nothing stopped the rumor. The rumor began true and changed. John started beating the snot out of Dean when he was sober. If he didn’t keep his grades up, get home in time or some other bullshit Daddy Winchester brought out his belt.”

“Has that stopped?”

Charlie starred down at her sketch book. “CPS came one day and John was sent to Anger Management. Now he is trying to be a part of Dean and Sam’s life but I know John still beat the crap out of Dean when he doesn’t something even remotely wrong. I think in public John acts like the perfect father, but behind closed doors…things get really ugly.”

“Charlie, how can I prove to Dean that I mean what I say?”

“How can you prove anything to someone who can’t trust himself?” Charlie’s voice cracked.

Cas cocked his head. He watched a tear roll down her face. “You’re crying…”

“There are some things that you just don’t talk about.” Charlie wiped her cheeks with her fingertips.

“What are you saying?”

“There’s been more than one situation where I basically pulled Dean off the edge.” Charlie stood and Cas followed.

“Charlie, how do you know Dean’s Dad is horrible like that? I don’t think that would be something anybody would just tell someone.” Cas touched her shoulder.

“Like I said, I have talked Dean off the ledge more than once. When that happens they will tell you either everything or nothing. I have gotten both. John Winchester is a monster. Anybody who is in ear shot will think he is the best Dad in the world. He’ll even make Dean and Sam feel like that are doing something right. I have seen John happy and peppy at Dean’s house, but I’ll bet you everything I own the moment I left things got sketchy.”

Cas nodded. “You know, Dean thinks he lost his best friend…he thinks it’s all my fault. I don’t blame him. I was the one who sought him out and asked him to do what we did. It was me who told him it was our little secret. Dean loves you and I feel guilty for breaking y’all up.”

“Don’t be…I didn’t care that Dean was gay. Dean and I went into our relationship knowing we were both…bisexual. It didn’t surprise me that he came out…it shocked me and even hurt me that he cheated on me after over 3 years.”

“How about we get outta here and talk? I want to change and be a better person…I need a friend to help. Can we be friends?”

Charlie nodded. “Yeah, but if you hurt a hair on Dean’s head, I’ll be after you.”

They walked out of the school and Cas even gave the cold shoulder to Crowley and Alastair who were calling out his name. Charlie and Cas talked for the rest of the about changing Cas for the better. Charlie talked Cas into conquering his fear of what people would think of him. Cas even told Charlie about how he acts outside of school and football. The decision was made; Cas was going to get Dean.

_**& ^%$#@#$%^&*&^%$#$%^&*(&^%$#** _

He woke up early after a long weeks and weekend of fixing his image and he decide that today was the he would go for it. It was a nice Monday morning. He pulled on his clothes and drove to school. Right as he got out of the car he got many stares. He grabbed his book bag and started heading to the front door of the school.

He heard the whispers and felt the stares. Once he got to his locker he heard his name. “Castiel?”

He closed his eyes and turned around. When he opened his eyes he saw Crowley and Alastair. “Hey guys.”

“Castiel, what the fuck is up with that get up? You said you dressed like that yesterday to lead Winchester on.”

“I—I…” Cas stuttered.

“Spit it out, Castiel.” Alastair hissed.

“Get out of my face, Alastair.” Cas growled.

“You look like pansy, Castiel.” Crowley barked.

“I’m a _pansy_ , Alastair, Crowley.” Cas closed his locker and began walking off. “You got a problem with that?”

“Where do you think you’re going, Castiel?’ Crowley spoke up.

“To class.” Cas said dryly.

“HEY _Queer_! Get your ass back over here.” Alastair yelled.

Cas turned around to find they were right behind him. “You guys can kiss my flaming ass.” Cas walked fast until he reached his destination; Dean’s occupied locker. He rushed over to the boy and whipped him around and planted a deep hungry kiss to Dean’s lips as his hands cupped Dean’s face. He pulled back and looked Dean in his wide eyes and smiled. “I love you, Dean Winchester.”

Cas swore he saw Dean start to form a smile as he touched his bottom lip. He looked around and all of Cas’s old douchebag friends were watching and staring at him and Cas. Fear filled Dean’s face and he started to tremble. Cas looked at Crowley and Alastair who stood with their mouths wide open. Random bystanders had gathered around and the two were surrounded. “Ok, there’s nothing to see here!” Cas snapped. Most everybody began moving again except the assholes Cas had called friends.

Cas touched Dean’s shaking shoulder and began to lead him away. Alastair yanked Cas’s shoulder and Cas whipped around and connected his fist to Alastairs jaw and walked off with Dean.

Once they were in a bathroom Cas immediately checked if it was empty and then shut and locked the door and heavily propped against the door and stared at a still terrified looking Dean. Cas was horrified for what Dean was gonna say. He didn’t know if it was bad or good but the silence was killing him.

**_***_ **


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Been a while, i know, i got really hooked on other stories and just pushed this one aside. Hope you like the Cas/John confrontation you are about to witness
> 
> WARNING: This may be triggering for some people, so you have been warned, so be careful and keep the tissues close.

“What the hell was that?” Dean gasped.

“Was that enough to tell you that I have fallen for you?” Cas stood his ground.

“I don’t know what stunt you’re trying to pull but I’ not falling for it. This is a trick. You, Alastair, Crowley, Azazeal are plotting something to get me vulnerable and then just stomp on me.”

“I gave up my rep for you. I am trying to be a better person for you.” Cas said. “I know all about your mom and you dad, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes grew big. “Who—who told you?”

“Charlie told me everything she knew.” Cas took a step towards Dean.

Dean took a panicked step back into the sink. “No-NO, n-no, my Dad is a kind man. He wouldn’t hurt anybody, unless he had too. You’re lying to me. Charlie would never talk about me behind my back. You are plotting with Alastair.” Dean ran his fingers through his hair. “You are just doing this to put a good light on your rep. Leave me alone.”

He rushed out of the bathroom and dashed out of the school. The late bell rang and Cas slid into his class and half listened. _‘Like I said, I have talked Dean off the ledge more than once. When that happens they will tell you either everything or nothing.’_ He remembered Charlie telling him. He abruptly stood and rushed out of the classroom and down the hall. He jogged to his car and blew out of that parking lot and down the road.

He remembered the address Charlie gave him where Dean lived. It took no longer than 5 minutes to get there but felt like an eternity. He pulled into the driveway thankful to see Dean’s car there. He hoped out of his car and ran to the door and knocked. He heard nothing and saw nothing through the windows. He turned the knob and thankful it was unlocked. He dashed up the stairs and looked through all the room and came around a semiconscious Dean Winchester laying on his bed with an empty pill container. “No, No, No, Dean. Stay awake with me.” Cas dragged him into the bathroom and over to the toilet and stuck his fingers down Dean’s throat until Dean start gagging and vomiting into the bowl. “There you go, Dean. You’re going to be ok.” Cas repeated the same motion forcing Dean to puke. Afte four times of doing that Cas cleaned off his finger and fell onto his ass and Dean laid limp in between his legs with his head on Cas’s chest.

Dean was sweaty and pale. His freckles stood out and his eyes looked glazed over. He was still conscious but barely, but that was still a good thing. Cas saw a tear fall from Dean’s eyes. Cas held him close as he dial 9-1-1.

They were going to be there in a matter of minutes. Dean was slowly waking up some more. Cas was silent with his face buried his Dean’s hair. All he heard was a gruff _‘No…’_ leave Dean’s lips. “No.” Dean said more awake. “No, I was supposed to die.” Cas’s eyes filled with tears. Dean was weak. “I wanna die. I just wanna die.” Dean sobbed.

Cas pressed his lips to the top of Dean’s hair. He didn’t move his arms. One laid across Dean’s chest and the other held Dean’s hand. “You’re not going to die on my watch, Little Fella.” Cas said quietly.

“Cas…” Dean whimpered tightening his grip on Cas’s hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Shhh, I’m right here, you’re going to be ok. I’m getting you help.” Cas nuzzled Dean closer. Cas heard sirens.

_*** &^%$#%^&*(*&^%$#$%^&*()** _

“Where is he?” Cas heard as a tall, gruff man enter the waiting room of the ER. He spotted CAs and charged over to him. “What did you do to him?”

Cas stood and the man grabbed his shirt and pulled him close. He could only imagine this was John Winchester. “Sir, I didn’t do anything to Dean.”

“I got a call that Dean didn’t show up for first period then got a call that he was in the ER. What the hell happened to him?” John fumed.

“He tried to commit suicide. He downed a bottle of pain killers. If I hadn’t gotten to your house when I did and force Dean to throw up those pills he would have probably fallen into a coma and died.” Cas spoke. “I didn’t do anything to your son. I save his life.”

John’s whole posture changed. He relaxed a little, but his facial expression changed from anger to worry. “What?”

Cas stared at the taller man. “Something happened at school. These football players…Alastair and Crowley started messing with him again. He went home, and everyone else went to class. Something felt wrong so I dashed over to your house and the front door was unlocked like someone was in a rush to get inside. I ran upstairs and found him in his room.” Cas paused and took a deep breath. He didn’t want to replay that moment ever again. “He was barely conscious. He downed a whole bottle of pain killers. I dragged him into the bathroom and forced him to throw up by sticking my fingers down his throat. I don’t know how much I got out of him, or if he’s even ok now, they haven’t told me anything because I’m not a relative.” He felt warm tears fall down his face.

Cas saw a doctor walk into the waiting room. “Are you Mr. John Winchester?”

“Yes, can I see my son?” John answered. “Is he ok?”

The doctor nodded. “Dean overdosed on pain killer willingly. He confessed that it was an act to attempt suicide. I have scheduled 6 therapy sessions for him. One in the morning and on in the evening, He is still unconscious. He had to pump his stomach and sedate him. We are going to put him on a 72 hour suicide watch just to keep him under control and screw his head on straight.”

“Thanks, doc.” John nodded. “Can I see him?”

“He just went under, sir. He’s going to be hour for a couple hours and when he does wake up he won’t be up for long. I suggest getting something to eat, go home pack a few things, get everything organized for the next three days and then come back.”

The doctor walked off leaving Jon and Cas by themselves. Cas sighed and took a seat. He still had a few hours before he had to get home. He would just wait and see if he hears anything else about Dean. John sat down beside Cas. “You’re Castiel Novak, correct?”

“Yes, sir.” Cas replied softly.

“You’re the one who hasn’t come out yet, but you have a thing with Dean, that you don’t want anyone to know.” John asked knowing a little about the football player. John smirked. “You sure don’t look like a straight fella.”

“I came out to my family 3 years ago, they were very accepting. My so called friends and teammates are less understanding about homosexuals. Those guys were the one to mock gays and call them queers, faggots, pansy, anything that would make fun of them. Dean was picked on the most, then I kissed him in public and Alastair and Crowley saw and started the name calling and punches. I decided I didn’t like where things were going. So I ditched my fake attire for my weekend at home attire and I style that fit my gayness.”

“I think you might be overcompensating.” John smirked.

“That’s what Dean said, but no, this is me down to the leather boots.” Cas looked at John who was smiling. “Mr. Winchester…I love him…I love your son. He don’t think I mean that, but I do.”

“You saved his life, son. You didn’t have to leave school and run after him because you thought something was wrong, but you did. If that ain’t love, I don’t know what is.” John patted Cas’s shoulder.

Cas cleared his throat. He wanted to know the real John. This wasn’t it. He had to ask, but it might not be the right thing. “Sir, do you hit Dean?”

John was taking back by the question. “Wha—what kind of que—“

“Don’t play stupid with me, Mr. Winchester. Charlie told me all about it. How you beat Dean in places that people won’t see. Then things got worse but you couldn’t tell because Dean was coming home beaten up. You got Anger Management lesson, but you still used Dean as a source to drain your anger so you could put on a mask and smile and act like the world best Dad to everyone around. You know that’s not true. You know that Dean is miserable, he knows that you blame him for your wife’s death. This ain’t that first time Dean got close to the edge. Charlie says that Dean’s been close to something like this before but never did anything. This time he did. Do you think there was anything that you did that pushed him over the edge?”

John stopped looking at Cas. John cleared his throat. “Dean’s a tough boy. Yeah I beat him around, to help myself, but I knew he could take it, to thicken his skin. I didn’t know that I was helping those bully beat him down. I didn’t know about those other times, I wanted Dean to be a perfect student, do good in school, and get into a good college so he do better than I did.” John looked at Cas. “Don’t hurt my boy, Castiel.”

“I hurt a perfect hair on his head, but if you do, we’re going to have a problem.” Cas glared at Dean’s father.

“Deal.” John nodded. “Come on, let’s go get something to eat…on me.” Cas stood and followed John.

_‘Dear God, I hope Dean is ok.'_

_******* _


End file.
